This week for my human wellbeing series, I’ll be talking about soul searching or more specifically, learning who you are and why you do the things you do.
‘Only through reflection can you see a true image of self’
Do you ever take the time to think and reflect upon the way your life is going? Many of us simply don’t in a busy modern life and frankly, we are missing out on exploring our full potential. To maximise our existence on this planet we must know who we are, what drives us, what we want to achieve and just have a meeting with ourselves about how everything’s going in life, a kind of progress report if you will.
Soul searching is never easy, in fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. It can be uncomfortable, painful and even pretty scary. The hardest part of it is being honest with ourselves and we can all be guilty of being set in our ways. It’s obvious if you are afraid of something, it is far easier to avoid it altogether than ask yourself questions and explore the inner workings of our being. We have to know what makes us tick, what our fears and passions are, what our personality traits are and probably the most important question of all: What will make us happy and enrichened like we deserve to be? If we are the centre of our own universe then shouldn’t we at least try and discover what we can about it?
Honesty is the best policy
Here’s the tough bit, being honest with yourself. If you’re unhappy, you have to ask yourself why. What’s making you unhappy? Why is it? And the most important one of all, what are you going to do about it? This is where honesty is the most vital part of the process. It may sound easy, but we all lie to ourselves all the time. Getting to the bare bones of the problem is where the discomfort is, but also where the solution lies. So be brave, be true to yourself only then will you find the answers you’re looking for and your human wellbeing will certainly thank you.
Often, we make decisions based upon an emotional response, but do we ever stop and ask ourselves why we feel that way? Anytime we are emotional, we are not being logical; it seems one cancels out the other. How can we make the best decisions for ourselves and our families if we’re doing it in an emotional state? Say for example, you’re angry about something, your response to that thing is far more likely to be one of spite, revenge or one-upmanship. How long can you stay angry for? All you have to do is wait for the fire to calm before, making a decision. Then, we have to ask ourselves why it has made us angry in the first place. Is because we’ve been wronged, victimised or let down, or is it really a matter of ego? The answer to that question changes our reaction towards the situation dramatically. You’ll be amazed how many angry reactions are based around ego, by that I mean someone disagreeing with us or telling us some home truths and the anger is a sign that ego is ruling.
Before making a decision, ask yourself why you feel the way you do about it and make sure you rule out the ego factor.
If we have a negative reaction to something, that in itself is going to cause further negativity in our lives and that’s what in general the world needs; less negativity. If you can turn something that is a negative into a positive by asking yourself what you’ve learned from a situation, how have you grown and how has it made you stronger? I’d bet my bottom dollar that all of these things are true if you can just learn how to see it. Check out my human wellbeing positive thinking blog for more on this subject.
I am me
Who are you, I mean who really are you? Exploring the inner depths is painful and scary but equally, is liberating and empowering. If you know how you’ll react to something and why, you can avoid it or embrace it depending on what it is. Many of us look for the answers in the space around us when the answers lie within us. Is life something that happens to us, or something that we do? The two points of view have very different repercussions in the decision-making process, and I’m convinced for one, it’s only our responsibility to make our own lives better and soul searching is the beginning of the journey.
‘Who are you? Now is the time to find out my friend.’
And in exciting news, keep an eye out for my upcoming debut nonfiction book: Cracked Planet: The Dawn of Enlightenment. It’s all about the world we live in and humankind and will open a few eyes. It will be with you soon.
Barry Brunswick is an author. You can buy his books on Amazon, The War of The Turnips, The Secret Tale of the Cupboard Gnome, the short story collection Barry S. Brunswick’s Tall Tales and the new adventure of a generation – Dreamland Part 1 The Fabric of Dreams.