With Christmas almost here, everything around you is, Christmas this and Christmas that, and as part of my funny poems for kids blogs that I like to do from time to time (I was a poet long before I was a storyteller), I thought now was a great time of year to publish one. So, let’s forget the shopping, the stress and the high street vampires trying to bleed us dry and just have a bit of a laugh. So this time my funny poem for kids is: A Poem That Has Nothing to do with Christmas.
A Poem That Has Nothing to do with Christmas
By Barry S. Brunswick
If I was a rabbit, think I’d hop it
If I was a dog, I’d feel ‘Ruff!’
If I was a horse, I’d see my ‘naaaybour’
If I saw a quack, I’d be a duck.
If I was a frog, I might well croak it
If I was a fish, I’d be so deep
If I was a snake, I’d throw a hissy fit
If I was a bird, I’d send a tweet.
If I was a mouse, I’d be so quiet
If I was an elephant, pack my trunk
Like a hyena, I’m always laughing
But like a camel, got the hump.
If I was a cow, I’d ‘mooove’ over
If I was a goat, I’d be a kid
If I was a monkey, I’d be a cheeky one
If I was a parrot, I’d be sick.
If I was a rat, I’d be so dirty
If I was an owl, not give a ‘hoot’
If I was a bat, I’d be a blind one
If I had no hair, I’d be a coot.
If I was a crab, I’d be a hermit
If I was a fisher, be a king
If I was a bee, I’d probably ‘buzz’ off
If I was a cricket, I would sing.
If I was a peacock, I would strut round
If I was a rooster, I would crow
If I was an ox, I’d be a strong one
If I was a whale ‘thar she blows.’
If I was a sheep, I’d be bloomin’ ‘baaaarmy’
A tick party, needs a host
If I was a flea, I’d jump inside your ear
If I was a butterfly, on toast.
If I was a flower, I’d have some power
If I was a fairy, I’d believe
If I was a dragonfly, I’d breathe fire
If I was a tree, I’d have to leave.
For more jokes, funny poems for kids, limericks and endless other fun things, check out my website Imaginationgeneration.fun.
Barry Brunswick is a children’s author. You can buy his children’s books on Amazon, The War of The Turnips, The Secret Tale of the Cupboard Gnome and the short story collection Barry S. Brunswick’s Tall Tales. Follow Barry on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter. All illustrations by Barry S. Brunswick.