Hey friend, and welcome to the comedy fantasy blog, The Diary of a Wizard, chuckles and madness abound. This week I’ve gotta get through the faery garden. Might sound nice, but being The Enchanted Woods and all, I’m not all together sure it will be.
I was out walking the other night and it was getting pretty late, so imagine my surprise when a young girl ran up to me. “Excuse me, sir, I’m lost. Where am I?”
“Why are you out so late, and alone?”
“Duh, like I said I’m lost. Where am I?”
“The Enchanted Woods.”
“Yeah, I know that, stupid. Where am I in The Enchanted Woods dumb ass?”
“Alright kid, no need to be so rude. Anyway, that there, is the faery garden. But I wouldn’t…”
“Oh cool. Yippee!” She went and ran straight into the garden.
Oh boy! I dunno if you’ve seen the movie predator, but navigating the faery garden is way more dangerous than Arnie getting to the chopper, let me tell ya. If the little girl is imagining Tinkerbell in there, she’s gonna get the shock of her life. Real world fae-folk aren’t like that at all. Anyway, I couldn’t leave a little girl alone in such a dangerous place. I had no choice. I had to follow her and get her out of there.
I followed her carefully into the garden, creepily quiet, upon the very tippies of the tippy toes of my pointy boots. I knew any moment trickses would be abound, trickses and traps lay in wait all around. They’ll try to enchant the little girl. They’ll see me, a wizard as a threat. They’re gonna try and make me dead for sure.
Of course, the garden has an ever-moving labyrinth of spiky bushes, so I had to try and navigate that. It was hard going and took an age. I was nearly certain that the little girl would have been enchanted by then, but I heard her giggle on numerous occasions. That gave me hope, and hope kept me going.
It was firecrackers beneath my feet, and then a big hole I nearly fell in disguised with leaves, a smoking potion with “free drink” written in elvish on it, an enchanted lute playing pixie, the old rope around the ankle ploy, which I narrowly avoided, and that was just in the first hour of the journey.
I walked through the night, avoiding traps and trickses every second, endlessly searching for the girl. By the light on the end of my staff I pressed onwards. Never could I afford to let my guard slip. If I slept or rested, I could be captured and then there would be no hope for the girl. Luckily, I put a keepy awakey potion in my satchel.
The tree fae-folk threw nuts and acorns, the ground fae-folk chucked rocks, and the water fae-folk threw water, all the way through the deadly garden.
Finally, there she was! The little girl was sitting on a log.
“Hey, it’s me,” I said. “We need to get you out of here. It’s very dangerous.”
The little girl, looked at me, did a cold smirk and completely disappeared before my very eyes. Great! She was a spectre that lured me into the faery garden. Then after a wasted mission, I had to get back out of there.
It took me two days to finally get back out, evading deadly danger every step of the way. I escaped with my life and my entire body still intact. Pretty miraculous really, even if I do say so myself.
Finally, I made it home and put my feet up. Looking back, despite the dangers and hardships of the faery garden and the fact the little girl turned out to be a spectre, I’d do exactly the same thing again. I couldn’t just sit back and let a little girl get enchanted. My job is always to do the right thing, not the easy thing, and I think it wouldn’t hurt if we all lived our lives that way.
I’m gonna write some cool stories for now, I hope your week is far easier than mine will be, but a wizard’s gotta wizard!
See ya next time friend!
Barry S. Brunswick is an Author and Best Selling Poet.
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Dreamland Part 1 – The Fabric of Dreams
Dreamland Part 2 – The Masters of Light
Dreamland Part 3 – The Veil of Shadow
Hairy Man a short story
The War of The Turnips