Hey friend! Welcome to the best blog about all things wizardy. This week I’ve gotta help a tree. I know it sounds strange, but this is The Diary of a Wizard, and this is also The Enchanted Woods, so anything can and usually does happen.
The Wandering Tree: Day One
I need to replenish my stocks of potent and powerful potion ingredients. The best way to do this, is to go wandering and foraging. So, I’m gonna pack my magic tent, it fits in your pocket you see, and then I’ll go for a little wander.
It’s been ages since I last did it, so I need some magic acorns, some funky fungi, some slimy moss and the hardest thing of all to get, dilly root. (I’ve found dilly root before back in the 2-part Halloween Special, Week 22 and 23, click the links to check it out. It has Vegan Zombies and my best friend and 500-year-old cave witch Caladium Crane, at her very best, or maybe worst, depending on which way you look at it!)
I had a nice feed and headed out into The Enchanted Woods. First, I need magic acorns and there’s only one place in the woods that magic acorns grow, where the magic oak trees are of course. They’re like normal oak trees, just a bit more magical. I will get there in the morrow.
I slept by the crystal stream so as to avoid getting into any life-threatening entanglements for once. Well, it’s okay if I don’t have to wizard for one night, I guess.
The Wandering Tree: Day Two
Woke up bright and breezy after a soothing 39 winks. I had a cup of tea, and headed off on my travels. I have to cross The Pickling Marsh, which is these long wispy grasses sitting in a massive pool of vinegar. I have to be super careful going through there. One slip and you’re pickled!
I managed to get through the marsh but was bitten many times by the mosquitoes that inhabit it. The bites sting bad, but they’re anti-bacterial bites, due to all the vinegar, luckily.
Finally, I reached the place where the magic oak trees grow, right near where the diamond trees do, but I have no interest in diamonds. The trees glow silver and sing mystical music to the wind. The faeries dart and skip in their mighty branches. You can tell there’s magic about.
I shook one of the trees and a few acorns fell down. I gathered them up and stuffed them in my satchel. You may be asking yourself, why I didn’t take more acorns, and the answer would be, they can be very volatile in great numbers and can explode in a puff of magical smoke, and explode me, and anything near me with it. You should never toy with magic acorns.
Next, I need to head to the fabulous part of the woods to find some funky fungi. It’s kinda like a mushroom but it’s all glittery like a disco ball!
I’ll be there by lunchtime in the morrow, so I’m going to make camp for the night and watch the fireflies.
The Wandering Tree: Day Three
I awoke to the morning covered in blisters. While fireflies look pretty, they’re rather hot. They make fire in their butts so when they land on you it burns. They only got my arms and legs though because my beard covers most of my face.
I headed off through the dusty valley towards the fabulous part of the woods. Halfway across, in a silent place, I heard sobbing. I looked everywhere but couldn’t find anyone.
“Hello,” I shouted. “Please come out and tell me what’s wrong. I’m a wondrous wizard—not to blow my own trumpet or anything but you know—and I can help you. It’s what I do.”
Suddenly as if the forest had come alive, an enormous towering tree walked towards me. I nearly jumped a mile. In fact, if I wasn’t a mighty wizard, I’d have probably ran away calling for my mummy, like a shakily scared cowardy custard. I stood my ground as the shadow of its mighty branches loomed over me. Then in a gentle sniffle the tree spoke.
“It was me, I was crying.”
“Oh, I’m sorry that you’re sad. Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll see if I can help.”
“I’m a tree that’s lost its way and keeps reaching out to strangers for directions, but everyone runs away.”
“You poor thing.” I gave her trunk a cuddle. “Can’t you ask the bugs or birds that live in your branches?”
“They don’t like a moving tree, too unstable,” she sniffed. “And creatures of the woods normally run away. So, I end up alone.”
“Well, I’m your friend now, so you’re not alone. What’s your name?”
“Well, hang with me and I’ll figure something out.”
She let out a little titter of joy. I sat in her lower branches, and she told me stories of the forest, of things she’d seen and things she’d done. She went on spinning fascinating yarns long into the night. Eventually, safely in her branches, I fell asleep.
The Wandering Tree: Day Four
I awoke bright and breezy in the morning. Cherry was happily sleeping, and if you’ve never heard a tree snore, it’s the strangest sound I can tell you. This gave me an idea. I know what to do.
I need to get the funky fungi so I can make some magic. For once, Cherry did get directions that morning and as I clung on, she walked to the fabulous part of the woods. She was pretty swayey, I can see why the animals choose trees that don’t wander for the most part.
Everything in the fabulous part of the woods, is well, fabulous. The birds are all flamboyant and crazy colours, the flowers are huge and glow bright and finally, the fungus is all funky. I grabbed more than I needed so I’d have some for later.
I wasted no time in making some miraculously magnificent magic and of course doing some wacky and wondrous wizardry. I said the words and threw the fungi at the top of the tree. There was a flash of light, and then a puff of smoke, and then a neon sign appeared. It simply read: “Bed & Breakfast”.
“What did you do?” a startled Cherry asked.
“Well, I made a sign. I noticed last night, when we were chatting, that you didn’t move and when you slept, you didn’t either. So now as the sun goes down, all the birds, and bats, and squirrels, and bugs, and tree-dwelling fae folk, will take refuge in your branches for the night. Then every night you will have company! All you need is them to give you directions each morning.”
“What about the breakfast part, I can’t cook?”
“Oh, never mind that, you just need to grow some nuts for the squirrels and the things that stay can just eat each other in the morning. They do that anyway you see. You don’t see trees that don’t wander laying on sandwiches, do you?”
The night came and the sign glowed and indeed many creatures came to sleep on the wandering tree, even me.
The Wandering Tree: Day Five
All of the time I spent with Cherry, has meant I don’t have time to find the other things I came out for. I guess I’ll save that for another week. I was going to wave goodbye, but Cherry insisted, as long as I gave her directions, she would be my magical steed and take me home.
We chatted endlessly along the way, and when we stopped for the night, creatures came to stay at the B&B again, maybe I should have called it a tree&tree!
The Wandering Tree: Day Six
Awokened and refreshed, I gave the wandering tree directions to my place. She walked all day until at last I was home.
Again, for the final time I slept in her branches even though my own bed awaited me inside. I would have invited her in, but she’s well, a tree, and my place was made for wizards really.
I stayed with her so I could catch a few more of those amazing tales she tells. And from now on, she’ll always have someone to tell her tales to by night, and give her directions come the morning.
The Wandering Tree: Day Seven
I gave Cherry directions to where the wandering trees gather, for she is not the only one. I thought maybe it’s about time she had a party! She’ll be happy there for a day or two, but like any good wandering tree, Cherry has to wander, and wander she will. At least now she never has to be alone or lost any more and that makes my heart happy!
Who’d have thought a wizard could be friends with a tree that wanders? But here we are.
I’m gonna write some cool stories for you now.
I hope the week brings you love and fun in abundance.
Barry S. Brunswick is an Author and Best Selling Poet.
Have you read Barry’s blog about the Fantasy Series?
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Dreamland Part 1 – The Fabric of Dreams
Dreamland Part 2 – The Masters of Light
Dreamland Part 3 – The Veil of Shadow
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Barry Brunswick’s Tall Tales – A Short Story Collection