Hey Friend!
Welcome to the fun fantasy diary with a magical comical twist, The Diary of a Wizard. This week I’ve been invited to a teddy bear’s picnic despite me not being a teddy bear myself. It’s out by the crystal lake which is a nice spot so I should have a nice and chilled day with these cute little fuzzy guys.
Me and my trusty magical steed Horace set out bright and breezy in the morning, somewhere near dawn’s crack, for the long trek through the woods to the crystal lake. It was a two-day journey, and the party started at noon of day 3 of the week. We camped nearby so I wouldn’t be late. I’d hate to let the little guys down.
I woke up to the doof doof of old skool drum and bass music blasting through the woods. When I say blasting I mean shaking the actual ground. I woke up in quite the tizzy thinking that it was an earthquake as opposed to some tunes. We made our way towards the sound with it getting louder and louder all the time until I could feel it rattling my teeth. The wildlife was all headed back in the other direction. Maybe, they’re a little wiser than I am and I’m an ancient wizard!
Finally, I found the source—and just as I suspected, it was the teddy bears setting up for the picnic. I gotta be honest, I was thinking a tea and cake kinda vibe but there was turnip ale, and a barbecue with a whole griffin on a spit cooking. I thought they liked eating condiments like honey or marmalade and sometimes the odd bowl of porridge, guess I was wrong. I get the feeling this picnic is gonna be a bit different than I thought it would be, but then this is The Enchanted Woods and things are rarely as you’d think they will be.
Soon a carriage pulled by a hippopotamus full of 34 teddy bears arrived with music blaring. They jumped out with cool boxes full of drinks. They were making one heck of a racket. These teddies are way more rowdy than I expected. Anyway, now the picnic guests had arrived, the party could get started.
The teddies had a funnel and a hose pipe and to the cry of “Chug, chug chug!” the little furry blighters started skulling turnip ale by the barrel load until they were all swayey tiddly and becoming more raucous by the moment. Then a bunch of them were playing cards and the loser had to do a nudey run all around the place which seemed to bring about great hilarity.
One of the teddies appeared from the bushes with a roll of toilet paper in its hand, so I can confirm that bears do indeed s**t in the woods.
Then after an altercation over some marmalade sandwiches a huge brawl started. There was fur and stuffing everywhere. Honestly the day was awful, and I’d had enough by now. There seemed only one course of action that would be appropriate. I cast a spell and turned them into inanimate teddies. Horace and I hit the dusty trail back to my house but made sure we dropped the teddies off in the children’s home so they could bring joy to the kids of The Enchanted Woods instead of giving me a massive headache. We finally made it home by sundown.
Well, another week has come to an end and as always, I learned a valuable lesson. A teddy bear’s picnic is exactly that, a picnic for teddy bears, not one for wizards. At least now they can answer a teddy bear’s true calling, making children smile rather than wizard’s fret!
I’m gonna write some cool stories for you now.
See ya next time friend!
BB
Barry S. Brunswick is an Author and Best Selling Poet.
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Dreamland Part 1 – The Fabric of Dreams
Dreamland Part 2 – The Masters of Light
Dreamland Part 3 – The Veil of Shadow
Hairy Man a short story
The War of The Turnips
